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The Governator

by Caliaponia

The Governator strode forth, racking the gubernatorial shotgun. Heavy bandoliers crossed its armored chest and a tattered cape depicting a bear draped down its back. With every step the armor’s servos whined and the barn’s floorboards creaked beneath its weight. The visored biped stepped up to the shimmering barrier and nodded. Outside a carpet of hissing weasels undulated beneath the apple trees.

Twilight’s smile faltered at the sight, but the glow on her horn stayed steady, as the energy curtain parted before it.

The armored biped burst into action. The first blast opened up a breach, and it stepped into the gap, enlarging the space with broad sweeps of the sword in its other hand. Stepping all the way through, it intoned – “I’ll be back.”

Twilight sighed, sealing the shield behind it.

Applejack stepped up beside Twilight, her ears flat. “Are you really sure this is a good idea?”

Twilight’s own ears drooped and she shook her head. “No, it’s a terrible idea. But I’ve learned that sometimes it’s better to gallop with a bad idea when you need it than wait for the right idea too late.”

“Ah’ll admit being at a loss to handle a horde of zombie weasels,” Applejack said, watching the creature advance into the orchard, its flashing blade painting the trunks red. “But I’m still not sure how you came to this as the solution.”

“Look, if it had been lizards, I know a spell that could summon needle snakes. But I couldn’t think of any natural predators for weasels.”

“So you went to fight fire with fire? The idea was that adding more weasels to this” - the sweep of her leg across the bloody tableau somehow sarcastic - “was going to make it better?”

Twilight pawed the floorboards. “They’re territorial. I made sure to summon a different type of weasel.”

The ground was still thick with hissing furred bodies and the creature had vanished among the foliage, but the occasional boom marked its continued slaughter. And maybe they weren’t pressing quite as hard?

Applejack snorted. “That’s a different type alright… How d’ya figure that was a weasel again?”

“It turns out that politicians count.”

“Do they now? I didn’t think a summoning spell was capable of that sort o’ semantics.”

Twilight’s tail lashed. “It’s working, isn’t it?”

The mustelid horde did seem diminished. And there was a discernible current flowing away towards a spot in the trees.

Twilight sat on her haunches, “I can’t help but shake the feeling that this is all somehow Pinkie’s fault. Even if she said she was off at Everfree.”

“Uh, right. So, remind me what are we going to do when that feller’s done out there?”

Twilight turned away, muttering under her breath.

Applejack cocked her head. “What was that? Winter? You know we can’t wait that long.”

Twilight shook her head. “No, that would only be the plan for gorillas.”

“Well, it is kind of ape-like, but that’s just as well. So what is your plan, then?”

Twilight turned to Applejack and her smile was like the dawning of the sun. “That's the beauty of dealing with a Governor. I have a recall spell.”