The Campaign
by Silver_Flare
Twilight opened the front door of her castle, and was greeted by a host of identical, pink grins lining both sides of the pathway that cut through her lawn. The gloam of pre-dawn light, and the distinct lack of caffeine in her bloodstream, caused her to stop short, blinking her groggy eyes a few times.
Spike’s groan voice drifted up from behind her head. “Oh no. This can’t be good.”
She blinked again, but the manic smiles refused to change. They were signs. Little signs on tiny sticks driven into the soft grass, medium signs that swayed in the light breeze. Even a billboard closer to town…
“Do I even want to know?” Twilight muttered.
“Nope.” Spike settled himself back into the crook of her shoulders and sighed. “Not until we get breakfast, at least. Oof, Mayor Mare is going to be miffed when she sees this.”
Each sign was the same bright, pink smile. Some said Vote For A More Funner Ponyville! (yikes) Some said Fun. Fun. Fun. Some just said It’s Time For Change. Twilight rolled her eyes. Hard. “I feel like this is going to be my whole week.” She grumbled.
Twilight pushed her way into Sugercube Corner, the bell on the door merrily announcing her presence. Mrs. Cake waved to her from behind the counter.
“Welcome, dears, welcome! Always lovely to have you in! The usual, then?” She was really slathering on the Midwestern charm this morning.
Despite her best efforts, one of Twilight’s eyebrows raised crossly. “Yes please.” She managed to say. She crossed to the counter as Spike shifted behind her mane, getting a look at the display. Mrs. Cake busied herself with two coffees, one black and one with extra cream extra sugar.
Twilight held her tongue. For about half a second. “Is Pinkie in?”
Mrs. Cake fumbled a cruller and it fell to the floor with a dry plap. “Oh!” she said a little too loudly, “No, dear, she’s out and about. Very busy, I believe.” She reached for a replacement pastry.
Spike’s voice was right in her ear as he asked “Why are you standing sideways?”
The moment he said it, it was obvious. Mrs. Cake WAS standing awkwardly. With a blush, she shifted to reveal a bright pink, sparkly, Vote For Pinkie pin on her apron. The words hovered just below a free-floating smile.
Mrs. Cake stammered, “Well, she’s like a daughter to us, doncha know. And oh, we just love her to pieces. So of course we’re gonna support her.”
In that moment, Mr. Cake burst from the back room with a tray of muffins balanced on his nose… and two wooden placards draped over his sides, almost completely hiding his lanky body, depicting Pinkie behind a lectern, surrounded by an explosion of confetti and streamers.
Twilight took a deep, calming breath. Then let it out slowly. “My whole week.” She muttered. She paid for their breakfast and took her leave.
The sun was barely up, her coffee was barely cool enough to sip, and yet Twilight had no problem tracking down her mark. There was a small crowd gathered by town hall. Banners proclaimed Pinkie to be the Voice of Change. Ponies were waving little, triangular, pink flags. Pinkie stood on a stage in front of a nest of microphones, dressed in a crisp, tailored suit. The ponies in the front row looked like they were all from newspapers or publications.
“Spike,” Twilight breathed, “Cancel my… everything on the list today, would you?
Spike obliged, daintily wiping the breakfast off his claws before pulling out a scroll.
A pony in the front row was pitching his voice to be heard. “How will you address the needs of your town in light of foreign affairs?”
Pinkie gave him her most winning smile. “As you all know, forging relationships outside of Ponyville is my specialty! I’ve got close friends from Canterlot, to the Yaks, to the Buffalo, to the peaks of the gryphon kingdom!”
“And the seaponies! WOOOOO!” Twilight recognized the cheering student, was Seabreeze her name?
Pinkie waved and continued. “And trade will only go up! That’s good for small business, and it’s good for you, My Little Ponies!”
Another hoof shot up. Pinkie nodded in her direction, and the reporter spoke up.
“Sans Serif, Hoofington Review. Your last press release said you’ve chosen a running mate. Can you speak more about them now?”
Twilight couldn’t help herself. From the back of the crowd, she pitched her voice to be heard through the square. “A running mate? For Mayor? Like a Vice Mayor?”
Infuriatingly, nopony answered the question. Pinkie ignored her completely. “Actually, yes. I’m proud to announce a candidate I trust completely, a candidate who all of Ponyville can trust!” Pinkie motioned behind her, and another figure joined her. Fluttershy.
“Huh.” Twilight blinked. “Well, maybe there’s some sense to all this after all. Fluttershy wouldn’t be part of this without good reason, would she?”
The pony in front of her turned and shushed her.
From her place on the stage, Fluttershy produced a cage. She opened it, and a slender, brown rodent scrabbled up Pinkie’s leg to nest itself in her mane. “This,” Pinkie asserted, “is my running mate, Noodle! Wave to the ponies, Noodle!” The weasel in question did no such thing, rummaging around in Pinkie’s fuzzy mane instead, pulling out a lollipop that looked like it’d been on the floor of at least three movie theaters, and started munching away on it.
The crowd, after a brief pause, erupted in hesitant cheers. Like some of the yays and woos were followed by question marks.
“Now some of you are thinking, a weasel? In office? Aren’t they supposed to be sly, untrustworthy critters? Don’t they steal things in kids shows? Well that right there is some good old-fashioned down-home prejudice. Think about that.” The crowd grumbled in agreement. Pinkie nodded solemnly. “Noodle and I look forward to earning your vote, Ponyville.”
The words burst from Twilight’s muzzle, “But the next gubernatorial race isn’t until the end of Fall!” she shouted. “THIS MAKES NO SENSE!!!”
Finally, Pinkie looked her in the eyes. But it was only to lean in close to a mare in a dark suit and sunglasses and whisper something. Without warning, another security pony appeared at Twilight’s side. “Ma’am,” she began in a gravelly, no-nonsense tone, “we’re going to have to ask you to leave.”
Spike chuckled amusedly, “Looks like the Princess can still get in trouble.”
“Who’s side are you on, Spike?”
“I dunno, I think I’m an ‘undecided’ at the moment.”
There was a purple burst, and papers went flying in every direction in the confines of the office. Twilight appeared between a gaggle of interns who scrambled to pick them up. She spotted Pinkie, who was looking up from a heavily gerrymandered map of Equestria. Two guards moved to intercept her, and Twilight growled, menacingly, her horn aglow.
Spike peeked up. “I wouldn’t, fellas. She’s kinda in a sour mood.”
Pinkie called them off. “It’s okay, she’s a friend.”
A pony with a very angular face protested. “This is against every protocol…” but Pinkie was already at Twilight’s side, giving her a sheepish grin.
“I am NOT,” Twilight began, “waiting six hours to talk to you, Pinkie. What’s going on?
Pinkie steered them away from the table. “Sorry Twi, I know I should have let you know ahead of time. But things just moved so fast…”
“Yeah, like ‘overnight’ fast.” Spike muttered.
Once they weren’t going to be overheard, Pinkie sighed. “Remember last week, Rarity made an offhoof comment that I was still working a part time job and living out of an attic, and that I’d somehow become the least successful of all my friends?”
Twilight froze, trying to recall. “Oh. She didn’t say that, exactly. Oh Pinkie, that’s…”
Pinkie shushed her. “It’s okay. I don’t mind. She was right, after all. I started thinking, maybe I could do more. Be someone more.”
Twilight sputtered a bit. “What about planning parties? That’s a job, right? That’s very important!”
Pinkie smiled sadly. “Thanks, Twi. And I do love parties, you know me. But I wanted to… feel more proud of myself, I guess?” She shrugged the shoulders of her suit, which strangely enough looked good on her. Professional.
“So,” Twilight guessed, “You’re running for mayor. I see. Well, I support you, I guess. If there’s any way I can help, let me know. What does Mayor Mare think of all this?”
Pinkie gasped, her sapphire eyes shrinking to pinpricks. “OH! I’m sorry Twi! I thought you knew! I’m not running for mayor at all! I’m, um, running for Princess.
“I’m running against you, Twi.”
“………..WHAT!?!?!?!”