Deep Greenery

Lost in the Hedgemaze

“If we don’t get out of here in the next five seconds, I’m going to bury you.” Lyra growled as her partner for this game, Trixie, started trying to dig into one of the many hundred foot hedges that were surrounding them. She might have said something back but Lyra wasn’t about to hear through the foliage that she was currently waist deep in. Seeing that she was the reason that the two of them were stuck in this mess to begin with, Lyra felt justified in this threat.

You see, this all started with Trixie reading the recent rerelease of the Journal of the Elements of Harmony, now with two new chapters! She had read about how Discord tricked them inside a hedgemaze and like the loudmouth she was, decided to declare that she could have easily gotten out of there and not been affected by Discord’s spells. Lyra didn’t know if she had just muttered this or shouted it off the rooftop but somehow he heard her and decided that was a bet. But as a sign of “mercy”, he picked a random pony to join her in this insane game. Maybe it was random or maybe Discord remembered when Lyra took the last pretzel from the market. She tried to give it to him but apparently he doesn't like mustard like a savage.

“Muffle muffle USELESS muffle muffle!” Came out from the half stuck pony. Lyra rolled her eyes and tried to pull Trixie out. But the hedges were unreasonably strong because it was like trying to pull against taffy. For five minutes, Lyra pulled Trixie's bottom half as the leaves of the hedge seemingly stretched until a loud CRACK sent both of them flying backwards and rolling down the grassy hallway. With a thud and gasp of pain, the two were both in a tangled mess of limbs.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie was almost through. Why did you stop me?” Trixie said with a huff as she pushed Lyra off of her.

“We are in a magically summoned hedgemaze. You really think that he’s going to let you go through the hedges!?!” Lyra said as she got off the wet ground.

“Of course! That's how I became the top hedgemaze solver of my high school.” Trixie said, gearing up to dive right back into the bush. Lyra quickly rushed in front of her, with a hoof up to prevent a repeat performance.

“TRIXIE, that’s not how you solve mazes!” Lyra shouted. “What school did you go to that allowed you to just dive into the bushes randomly!?!”

“Trixie’s school of life. Now either come up with a better solution or get out of the way.” Trixie stated, priming herself.

“Look, the best way to get out of a maze is to keep your right hoof on the wall. Eventually, we will find the exit.” Lyra demonstrated by placing a hoof on the far wall. Trixie rolled her eyes and did the same. As soon as she touched the leafy wall, two large vines shot out and wrapped around both Trixie’s and Lyra’s hoofs. The two had a second to look at each other with disappointment before being yanked into the bush with such a tremendous force that it left pony shaped holes in the shrubs.

“OW OW OW OW OOOOWWWW!” Lyra shouted as she kept getting whacked by the deep greenery. “DISCORD! WHEN I GET OUT OF THIS, I’M GOING TO..!”

Before she could finish her threat, a large branch smacked her right in the gut, knocking the wind out of her. With the sound of a hawking a snot ball, the plants shot Lyra out into an open circle of the maze. Lyra started to struggle to get but was interrupted by getting sideline by a flying Trixie that crashed into her. Lyra was going to eat all the pretzels from now on, right in front of Discord. She was going to find a way to get to his house and cover it with mustard. She didn’t care if it bankrupt her, she was going to get back at him for this.

“I landed on my wand.” Trixie moaned in pain before rolling on the ground a bit. “Any more bright ideas?”

“Oh, like yours was any good!!!” Lyra said, brushing out the pieces of leaves and sticks out of her hair. “Okay, we can’t touch the walls. Maybe if I can get my bearings, I can figure out where the exit is.”

She looked up at the sky to see a cloudless blue canvas but no sun in sight. Which means Discord was blocking it. Maybe Celestisa will be able to save them because of this. But she couldn’t trust that it would happen. When had Celestisa saved anyone? She noticed something was creeping from the distant sky and it soon became apparent that it was a flock of geese.

“Okay, this will help.” Lyra said, pointing at the incoming birds. “It’s fall, so birds fly south for the winter. So we now know that’s south.” She turned to the where they were heading but saw a different flock heading right for the other group. “OH COME ON!”

The two groups collided, causing feathers to rain on the two unicorns. Trixie dodge a falling goose as it hit the ground with a honk.

“Well, it looks like your folksy wisdom has failed you twice.” Trixie was brushing off her hat and shaking her cloak off. “Do you want to try to go for a third time? Maybe I will get a prize.”

“The only reason we are here is because you had to taunt a demi god of chaos!” Lyra roared. She dived forward, tackling Trixie. She pinned her down and started shaking her like a ragdoll. “You can’t mock some pony who’s whole thing is to make random things happen!”

“You were the one who stole his pretzel!” Trixie shot back, sending Lyra into a further rage.

“I knew he picked me on purpose!” Lyra threw Trixie to the side and turned back to the sky that had devolved into a chaotic war as two more flocks of geese had joined into the fight. “I offered you to take it. It's not my fault that you don’t have good taste!!!”

All the geese stop in mid flight/fight and all their heads turn to Lyra.

“Way to go.” Trixie said with sarcasm dripping off each word. “How about you insult his mother next?”
Lyra whipped her head towards Trixie, her eyes seemingly alight with flames.

“Discord doesn't have a mother!” Lyra seemed to have become a dragon as Trixie swore that fire was coming out of her mouth. “And if he did, I would tell her to her face that that slippery, half baked, lasted to be shipped, goat looking mug that HE… IS… A…”

* * *

Fluttershy had started pouring out her tea into her favorite cup, a wooden cup that was decorated with a bear, wolf, and hawk. It was an enchanted cup that would change the animals’ position based on temperature. Hot made them active while cold made them look asleep. She had just rented a copy of Daring Do and The Tweet of Terror with hopes to have a quiet evening. She snuggled into her cozy chair and took a deep breath of her minty tea and opened it up.

“aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHHHHHHH!” A loud shout filled Fluttershy’s house before a loud smack hit the side, causing everything to rattle. Fluttershy didn’t react at first, just sip her tea quietly as the sound of some pony slid down. She took another breath of the mint tea before shutting her book and walking outside to see the nearly unconscious Lyra laying on the ground, her eyes slowly rolling in circles.

“You stole a pretzel from Discord?” Fluttershy said, not really looking down at Lyra.

“Yes…” She said weakly.

“Then you insulted his mother?” Fluttershy said, sipping her tea.

“He doesn't have a mother…” Lyra moaned.

“No, but he understands the insult.” Fluttershy took another sip.

“Why do you sound so bored?” Lyra groaned.

“You get used to it.” Fluttershy said before taking another sip of her tea. “I’m actually surprised that Trixie isn’t with you.”

* * *

“And you promised if I play this dumb table top game, you forgive me?” Trixie asked as Discord led them down the stairs to the dedicated Table Top Room for Spike and any pony playing Ogre and Octagons.

“Of course, dear friend.” Discord said with his crooked grin. “Oh, I may have forgotten one tiny thing.”

The spell hit Trixie like a hammer as she was suddenly dressed in Necromancer wear and holding a staff. She saw Spike, Big Mac, Discord, and Twilight dress as their RP characters. “Twilight may have just used her turn to cast a spell. Conjure animals. And did I get to the part that since she up casted it, she bring out about… oh Twenty animals.”

“What did she summon?” Trixie said with a gulp.

“Why, Twenty cows, of course.” Discord said, pointing up. Trixie looked up as she saw the cows were falling right towards her.

“Oh….”