PROMPT: Difficult Rice


Pinkie thanked the delivery pone and closed the door, taking her parcel towards the kitchen in Sugarcube Corner, where she'd made so many delicious pastries, cakes and cookies.

Today's fare, however, would be different.

Prince Rutherford had written her a letter recently, telling her that 'pony food is too soft'. Granted, she'd tried to tell him about rock candy, but he wasn't having it. He told her that she needed some experience cooking Yak food, and had even offered a solution to such a dilemma.

'We send Pink Pony Yak Hard Rice,' he'd written, 'and challenge pony to make dish with Yak Hard Rice.'

This would be easy peasy, she thought, and it'll work out GREAT when I present rice cakes! Princey won't know what hit his taste buds!

The kitchen had always been an exciting place where the whirlwinds of creation always seemed to surround her, taking her on proverbial flights of culinary fancy, over and over again - it was a sanctuary for her, a place where her own potential for creativity was amplified, justified and realized. The fact her imagination yeilded yummy results was just a bonus.

Opening the parcel, she found what looked like a wrapped brick. Peeling the paper away, she revealed what looked like a generous helping of long grain brown rice. It had an earthy scent and she liked the sound the grains made when she moved them around.

Giggling, she set the brick aside and fetched a colander from a cabinet; rice should always be washed first, as she'd always done before. Bringing that and thr brick to the sink, she poured a fair amount into the colander, turned on the water and ran it over the grains to let them-

*CLONK*

The moment the water touched them, the colander's contents seemed to quintuple in mass, and had made the colander to heavy to hold up.

She blinked. Weird - it hadn't been that heavy when she'd gotten it from the mailpone.

But undaunted, she simply began to let the water flow over the grains, humming a sweet little cooking tune as she turned to gather up a pot and a wooden spoon. A bit of butter, a little salt and some water later and the pot was placed onto the stovetop, the burner set to medium and her attention went back to the colander...

Which was now *flattened* underneath the long, brown grains.

"... hunh. THAT'S a first," she remarked out loud, but shrugged and reached for a cup to help her shovel the rice out of the sink.

It was like she was trying to scoop hardened marble as the grains seemingly enjoyed the sink enough to passively protest leaving it. Pinkie tilted her head curiously - she'd heard Yak food could make for *a heavy meal*, but this was ridiculous.

Undaunted, she struggled to scoop up at least a third of a cup of grains, then tried to move it to the pot on the stove. It was like dragging boulders, back on the rock farm - what in the wide, wide world of Equestria was rice doing, being heavy like this?

"Y'know," she grunted with effort, "I wonder... how Yaks... urgh... FIND food like... this... urgh... to eat."

With effort, she brought the rice to the pot and unceremoniously dumped the grains into it.

Great - just seventeen or so more trips and the pot would be full. Peachy.

Groaning, Pinkie made her way back to the sink, but only managed two more cupfuls before the handle snapped off, sending the rice inside rattling to the floor. She gave a frustrated grunt; one cup would be enough, she decided. She'd gather the errant grains later, as she had a feeling that a broom wouldn't do diddly-squat in this instance.

The pot on the stove was showing a bit of steam by now, but the grains inside still looked as solid as they had when she'd poured them into it. Taking up her wooden spoon, she tried to stir it.

Yeah, right.

Sighing, she headed out of the kitchen, returning with a metal pole (the mailbox wouldn't miss it) and attempting to stir the rice with it. It was large, awkward and still had address numbers on it, but it only dented a bit when she stirred the rice.

Once she'd managed to stir the rice evenly-...

Okay, let's not fool ourselves, here.

After two circles, she gave up on the pole and tossed it aside. She grumbled at the pot of rice.

"Shame on you," she told the contents of the pot, "don't you WANT to be made into a delicious bunch of little cakes to share with all the other yaks?"

The rice didn't answer - it was rice.

Pinkie shook her head and went out back, returning with a heavy duty shovel. THAT seemed to do the trick, though it felt like she was shoveling lead as she pushed the ridiculous rice around in the pot. As she did, it occurred to her that she had to actually taste the rice, if only to see how DONE it could get. If it had been tough to stir, how much more difficult would it be to chew?

Labouring hard enough to sweat, she kept stirring until the clock had advanced by at least ten minutes.

She set the shovel aside and rolled her shoulders. "Okie dokie lokie - time for the taste test! Let's see how good this stuff is!"

Pinkie took up her wooden spoon and put it into the rice, trying to lift out a portion to taste.

*SNAP* The wooden spoon broke, the handle left in the pink pony's grip as she watched the scoop sink into the mildly bubbly water. Poor Spoony, she thought, you shall be missed.

She chose to try again - this time, with the shovel. She managed to get a bit on the shovel's blade and had to use both forehooves to get it to her mouth. Part of her fully expected the rice to taste like *metal* or *stone*, but surpisingly, she bit into what felt like *hard tack*, but in rice form. There was an exotic, woodsy flavor to it, one that let her know that Rutherford hadn't sent her any bunk - the rice WAS tasty, even if it was a pain and a half to deal with.

She sighed. "Well, a challenge is a challenge, I guess."

She set the lid on the pot and moved over towards the sink, where she could-

*CLATTER CLATTER clatter*

Pinkie turned around to discover the lid was now on the floor. A roll of her eyes as she set it back in place again and turned to the-

*CLATTER CLATTER clatter*

Slowly, she looked up towards the source of the irritation - the lid had fallen off AGAIN.

This time, when she put it back in place, she leaned in close and *watched* it; sure enough, it wasn't long before the steam sent the lid sliding off the pot. Well THAT wouldn't do...

Five minutes later, she pulled the last knot taut over the lid, the rope holding it on beautifully.

"THERE," Pinkie muttered, "Now *BEHAVE!*"

A poot of steam responded, which made her giggle.

Now, she made her way to the fridge to try to figure out what might go with this brown rice - carrots? Celery? Onions? *Rustproofing?*

Eventually, she decided on a stir fry of various veggies. Gathering the other ingredients, prepping and chopping - that was the EASY part, to Pinkie.

Once things were set, she turned to glare at the rice. "Now listen here - I wanna make something tasty and good with you. You've gotta cooperate with me, though - I'm not sure WHY you're such difficult rice to deal with, but PLEASE can we make some stir-fry? I Pinkie Promise, you'll be DELICIOUS."

The rice didn't answer - again, rice.

She wanted to bring the pot to the wok, but since it was as it was, she brought a strainer to the pot instead, looking to drain the water. She set the strainer down in the sink over the drain and lift-

Lifted-

She lifted up-

Pinkie groaned and grabbed the shovel again. This time, it only took five minutes to transfer, as she now had experience with the hard rice. But now, in the oil that graced the wok, the rice began to sizzle and pop; kernels of puffed rice began to zing from the open wok as they popped like popcorn and flew out into the kitchen.

Pinkie facehooved. "Oh, for crying out loud!"

She looked at the puffed kernels and started to despair... but that's when her imagination kicked in.

Pinkie smiled - she was going to SUCCEED at this yet.

=====================================

"And what is Pink Pony bringing to us?" Rutherford exclaimed, mostly because he exclaimed EVERYTHING.

Pinkie smiled broadly as she dragged the broken cart into the throne room. "I got your Hard Rice and really? It took some WORK, but here's what I came up with!"

Turning, she lowered the gate on the cart to reveal a single plate of what looked like squares of puffed rice, pressed and cut for there to be about ten of them.

"Here ya go, princey!" she beamed, "I present Hard Crispy Treats! They're sweet, buttery and really, really, REEEEEEEEEALLY crunchy! And whatever you don't eat can double as bricks!"

Prince Rutherford blinked. "Pink Pony, this is..."

He threw back his head and laughed. "*WONDERFUL!* Now, Yaks can not just SMASH house, but now they can SMASH and EAT house? Pink Pony is GENIUS!"

Pinkie smiled and wiped her brow in relief. "Glad you like 'em! It's the least I could-"

"Yaks want *many* bricks!" he cheered, "So do not worry - Yaks will send MORE HARD RICE, and Pink Pony will make many, MANY more bricks for us! Enough to build entire village, YES! Yaks will make rice brick village, then will SMASH and EAT village!"

Pinkie's left eye twitched.

"And Pink Pony shall be Guest of Honor! Will let her SMASH village with Yaks AND have first bite!"

The pink earth pony gave a soft, long-suffering sigh... then produced her biggest and brightest smile. "If that's what you want, then okie dokie lokie! I'd be happy to do it!"

Well, *happy* was a bit much, but in the end, she knew she'd do it for Yakyakistan; all the work she would be putting in would make the SMASHING Part that much more fun, right?